Cognitive dissonance - Living a lie
The relationship between values and mental health is a fascinating and complex one. Personal values—those core beliefs and principles that guide our decisions and behaviors—can significantly influence our mental health. Let’s break it down.
On one hand, living in alignment with your values can be a powerful boost to mental health. When your actions and life choices reflect what you truly care about—whether it’s honesty, family, creativity, or something else—you’re more likely to feel a sense of purpose, satisfaction, and inner peace. Research backs this up: studies in positive psychology suggest that people who pursue goals tied to their intrinsic values (like personal growth or connection) tend to report higher levels of happiness and lower stress compared to those chasing extrinsic stuff like wealth or status for its own sake. When we are faced with inner conflict for instance between telling a lie to save ourselves from undesired consequences or when what we really want differs from what our community expects from us, choosing alignment with our values helps us to make safe choices for ourselves and protect our self esteem which is an important part of our mental health.
Values play an important role in your peace of mind and therefore in your mental health but it’s not all rosy. If there’s a disconnect between your values and your reality—like if you value freedom but feel trapped in a soul-crushing job—it can lead to frustration, anxiety, or even depression. This misalignment creates what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance," a mental tension that can wear you down over time. Similarly, if your values clash with societal norms or the people around you, that conflict can pile on stress or feelings of isolation.
Values also shape how we cope with life’s curveballs. For example, if you value resilience or community, you might lean on those strengths to navigate tough times, buffering against mental health struggles. On the flip side, rigid or perfectionistic values—like believing you must always succeed—can make you more vulnerable to burnout or self-criticism when things go sideways.
There’s also a two-way street here: mental health can influence how clearly you see or prioritize your values. Depression or anxiety might cloud your ability to connect with what matters to you, leaving you feeling aimless or detached.
In short, values act like a compass for mental well-being—when they guide you true, they can ground and uplift you, but when they’re ignored or imposed, they can throw you off course.
Where do our values come from?
Values are primarily based on a person's beliefs, attitudes, and experiences, which are often shaped by their upbringing, culture, family, and personal encounters, essentially reflecting what a person considers important in life and guides their decision-making process; they are not solely based on facts but rather on what someone deems valuable and meaningful. They stem from the core beliefs and principles that individuals hold about right and wrong, which can be influenced by various factors like family, community, and religion.
While values may be shared across cultures, their specific meaning and application can vary based on an individual's unique experiences and perspective.
Conclusion:
So our values can help direct our choices and behavior in helpful ways.
What do you think—do you see your own values playing a role in how you feel day-to-day?
Writers:
-Reverend Chukwudiebube Nwachukwu holds a Level 3 Mental Health Diploma. He is a trained Grief and Bereavement Counsellor, a trained Depression Counsellor, a trained Emotional Intelligence Life Coach, a trained Couple Counsellor, a SAMHI Dual Diagnosis practitioner and International Olympic Committee Sports Administrator.
-Ukamaka Chimeremeze is a volunteer worker at Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation.
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