MENTAL HEALTH AND INFIDELITY: THE HIDDEN SCARS OF BETRAYAL BY A WIFE
We have all experienced betrayal in one way or another. When we start to share our stories or scenarios, we often become emotional and tear up because we recall the pains we felt. Sometimes, when betrayal comes from our own family members, we tend to accept it as a normal part of life. However, this acceptance comes at a cost, as it affects our mental well-being and shapes our perspective on life, often without us even realising it.
When it comes to infidelity, society frequently casts the finger at men, while women receive less scrutiny. However, many married women commit infidelity, which is frequently concealed by societal biases that provide them with additional cover. This mismatch means that female infidelity is usually underestimated, leading to misunderstandings concerning the true scale of the problem.
UNDERSTANDING BETRAYAL AND INFIDELITY
Betrayal: A profound breach of trust that causes deep emotional pain.
Infidelity: The act of being unfaithful in a committed relationship, breaking the bond of trust.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF BETRAYAL
When a wife and mother commits infidelity, the emotional consequences on her family are severe. The husband, taken aback by the betrayal, experiences a severe loss of trust and self-esteem. This emotional suffering can show as rage, grief and a profound sense of inadequacy. Even when forgiveness is extended, the experience often leaves an invisible scar, making it difficult to reestablish intimacy and trust.
The wife, weighed down by guilt and regret, struggles with her identity and self-esteem. She may experience depression and anxiety, feeling she has failed in her roles as both wife and mother. The realisation of her actions leads to a profound sense of failure and self-loathing.
Children who witness their parents' emotional dispute may develop feelings of insecurity, confusion, and mistrust, leading them to question the stability of their relationships and harbour doubts about fidelity and love. This experience can shape their future relationships, making them wary of commitment and vulnerable to emotional instability.
REASONS FOR INFIDELITY
Women may cheat for various reasons, including:
● Emotional Neglect
● Opportunity
● Association with bad friends and negative influences
● Lack of contentment
● The lies and falsehood of social media
● Dissatisfaction
● Human vulnerability
● Seeking Validation
● Feeling Undervalued
● Desire for Excitement and Adventure
DISCOURAGING INFIDELITY:
To avoid the devastating effects of infidelity, couples should prioritise open and honest communication. Here are some other steps to help prevent infidelity:
Seek Counselling: Professional help can provide tools and strategies to navigate relationship challenges effectively.
Express Appreciation: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate each other's efforts and contributions.
Foster Intimacy: Create opportunities for emotional and physical closeness, ensuring that both partners feel connected and valued.
Address Dissatisfaction: Discuss feelings of unhappiness or dissatisfaction openly and work together to find solutions.
Prioritise the Relationship: Make time for each other, nurturing the bond and intimacy that forms the foundation of a strong marriage.
Think about the consequences of your actions on you, your family, your friends and your circle.
CONCLUSION:
Recognizing the shared human vulnerabilities that lead to infidelity can create a more compassionate and effective approach to healing and prevention. Infidelity, especially when it comes from a wife and mother, leaves deep scars on a family, affecting every member in profound ways. Couples can work towards building a stronger and more resilient relationship, preventing the devastating effects of infidelity.
Vera Ezeador
Resource Centre Manager, Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation,
Independence Layout, Enugu.